In some ways the last couple of months have moved rather slowly and quietly for me, at least as far as experiencing anything new or different related to my transition. But rather than feeling like nothing is happening, I feel like it has been a time of integrating my experiences, a time of conscious reflection so that I can more deeply understand the experiences and realizations that my soul is having.

Knowledge we have at an intellectual level, based on what we have learned rather than what we’ve experienced, is the beginning of understanding, but when what we understand at an …

Even when I try to be mindful of each moment, each hour, etc., I still cannot sustain it on the constant level I’d like to. And one thing that had been bothering me lately and that I voiced to my hospice nurse a couple of weeks ago is the fact that I used to feel so ready for my transition, so excited for it, actually, and now I don’t feel it that way like I used to, and I feel rather sad that the feeling of anticipation is gone. I am still ready when it’s time, but the excitement I …

The further I travel toward my actual transition, I more I realize that each moment, each day, each week, etc., simply leads to the next moment, day, or week. We are all in a constant state of becoming, and so each of these moments MUST give way to the next—must die, so to speak—for the next moment to be “born.”

For the most part, the majority of us get so caught up in our day to day lives that we miss the unfolding of these moments—moments that are born out of the ones that came before, moments that simply exist right …

I think much of what my last couple of years have been about is increasing my understanding of end-of-life issues as they relate to the final transition and what that means in the context of the current life. I wrote some time ago about death being simply the giving up of the physical body as the soul once again returns to the astral plane where those of us who still have to liberate from the material plane stay until being reborn once again. Wordsworth says it beautifully in this excerpt from “Imitations of Immortality” –

“Our birth is but a sleep …

I find myself with really mixed emotions lately–mixed thoughts and feelings about the lengthy transition I am in. When I started having experiences that are typically thought of as occurring within weeks or days of one’s transition, I never thought I’d be here two years later still experiencing some of the same things, and I have to admit that each day that I find myself on the planet, I sometimes wonder about this lengthy transitional process.

Sometimes it feels like I can see the beach after a very long swim, but it’s always a few strokes out of reach. As the …

In my last post I talked about how our intentions and efforts are what’s important, rather than the outcome. And this applies to anything we do. My own main area of concern has been the effort to meditate in spite of problems with positioning my body and the challenges I have with concentration, both due to the COPD. Even though I felt I had a good start with how to look at the problem and deal with it, I ran it by Tayo, who did confirm that, indeed, relative to these problems, the value is in the effort. But he …

I started through a really rough period right after my last entry, making it extremely difficult to think, let alone write coherently. The disease itself was not the cause of the difficulty but rather some huge problems with a couple of allopathic medicines, specifically as they were prescribed for me by my primary care physician (PCP), and then his refusal to change to a different medication in spite of the severe reactions I was having.

In many ways, I feel like the last six to eight weeks or so weeks are nothing but a blur—lost time when I have little time …

“Are you ON something,” Stacy, my hospice nurse asked as she stared into my eyes.

“No,” I answered with a grin on my face. “My consciousness just seems to move in and out of its own volition, but it IS fun!”

“Well, it’s too bad you’re not on something because then you could share, Stacy laughed.

It was about a month ago that this little ‘exercise’ of my consciousness began to happen. Because I’d been trying to keep the Hong Sau going in the background of my consciousness as much as possible, as Tayo had advised me to, I had started to shift …

My friend was full of questions about my transition process, so I’ll continue with  addressing those questions. For those who are familiar with astrology – especially evolutionary astrology – the answers to these questions are pertinent to and reflected in the natal chart, as well as transits and progressions. If you are not familiar with astrology, I think (and hope) the answers will still be clear.
My friend continued his questioning, “I’d be interested in knowing how you feel about the degree to which you completed your soul mission, your reasons for incarnating. To what extent do you feel you left …

To pick up where I left off in the last post. another question my friend asked centered around the interface between the Soul and the “human” parts of me. He wanted to know what the very human parts of us go through—what it feels like–in accepting their imminent demise; and to what extent there is fear, acceptance, resistance, etc.

Related to these questions and maybe summing them up was the following question: “What exactly ARE the feelings of the wave as it increasingly realizes it’s about to rejoin the ocean? Gladness and relief? Fear? All of the above?

These questions reminded me …