I find myself with really mixed emotions lately–mixed thoughts and feelings about the lengthy transition I am in. When I started having experiences that are typically thought of as occurring within weeks or days of one’s transition, I never thought I’d be here two years later still experiencing some of the same things, and I have to admit that each day that I find myself on the planet, I sometimes wonder about this lengthy transitional process.

Sometimes it feels like I can see the beach after a very long swim, but it’s always a few strokes out of reach. As the cage—the body—continues to break down more and more, the transition out of it becomes ever more appealing, and yet still being in it has brought inner ‘treasures’ I wouldn’t have realized had I made the transition sooner. While this time has been such a blessing—a real gift—to spend in closure with my family and friends and continuing realizations about the meaning of life, the actual evolution of the soul, etc., it also sometimes feels like the time just drags. And yet I am not the one who determines when that transition will actually occur.

A few days ago I started reading Deepak Chopra’s book, Life After Death and am finding that it not only reflects and supports what I have learned from my teachers (Wolf and Tayo) and my guru, Yogananda, and what I’ve read in the Gita, etc., but it also is beginning to help me understand and flesh out my own experiences of this process. Just a few short chapters have helped me to start weaving the threads of my individual experiences of the last couple of years into an ever-larger tapestry of conscious that has no beginning and no end. According to a quote by Rumi that Chopra includes in his book, “Death is our wedding with eternity.” And I started thinking that just as we make lengthy preparations for our earthly weddings, so too, this blessing is a lengthy preparation for my wedding with eternity.”