Last night I had a great deal of difficulty sleeping. I had a sinus headache as well as a regular headache, which is highly unusual for me. But that alone didn’t keep me awake. It just seemed to be one of those nights where I remained somewhere between being asleep and being awake—not feeling sleepy enough to go into a deep sleep, and not aware enough to actually feel fully awake. While I’ve experienced this kind of thing before, I had never experienced what came next.

In this kind of “twilight” sleep I was in all of a sudden what appeared …

Even when I try to be mindful of each moment, each hour, etc., I still cannot sustain it on the constant level I’d like to. And one thing that had been bothering me lately and that I voiced to my hospice nurse a couple of weeks ago is the fact that I used to feel so ready for my transition, so excited for it, actually, and now I don’t feel it that way like I used to, and I feel rather sad that the feeling of anticipation is gone. I am still ready when it’s time, but the excitement I …